Yo dudes..
I'm back again.. Like wat the great Maurinhno says, please bring your guns..! If you ain't got any bullets, it's still ok. Most important is you gotta bring your guns. You never will know when you will need it for a shoot. When the time comes, your bullets will automatically appear. No problem, dudes, we are the cowboy, just take a deep breathe, take your aim, take your best shot.
The above advice you have just read is based on some equations that the great mathematician has worked out. Not satisfied? There's still more.. but this time, it will be great words from a different mouth, from a different mathematician. Thierry Horny.. Horny spent 5 years in France researchin on how to make a woman pregnant without firing a shot. He came to Singapore this September and has been very kind to share us some of his solutions and publications. According to the French scientist, there's 3 ways..
Ok, first way for making a woman pregnant without firing a shot is to fire a shot with 1/3 of your ammo!! It sounds a bit contradicting but no.. it's not. His explanation... According to the 3 ways he has here, it's "3 ways = woman pregnant". At the other side of the equation, we all know that firing a shot straight into the hole will cause a woman to be pregnant. Thus "3 ways = woman pregnant" and "firing a shot = woman pregnant". Thus we can easily conclude that "3 ways = firing a shot". We further divide the equation by 3 "3 ways/3 = firing a shot/3". Thus "1 way = firing 33.333% of your ammo". Yeah, it's true.. nothing wrong. It's an equation. OK.. thus the first way will be firing a shot not with 100% of your ammo, but with 33.333% of your ammo. Note that it should be 33.333%. But.. here's the tricky part.. 33.333% x 3 = 99.999%. SOOOO.. where has the 0.001% of sperm went to? Hmmm.. it has evaporated.
Here's the 2nd way according to Horny. Put your ammo into that woman's glasses of water. Once she drinks it... that's it.. woooohoooo... we have a baby. This will be easier to understand. "Shooting into a hole = pregnant"... "Mouth = hole". Thus "Mouth = pregnant". Wooohooo.. now everyone with a mouth is pregnant. You are pregnant, I am pregnant too. Yeah, it's true.. nothing wrong. It's an equation.
Finally, we have reach the last way. It is to apply some of your jam to the japanese bread.. Once the woman has her menstruation.. Bingo!! We have a baby!! Yeah, it's true.. nothing wrong. It's an equation.
Ok.. that's all folks.. above is the 3 formula that Dr. Thierry Horny has worked out to serve the world better. His contibution to mankind, to the earth, to the sun, to the moon will forever be remembered... So let's all give him a big sound of Wooohooo. One, two, three! "Wooooohooooo" I thank you on behalf of Horny, I know he will be touched. ok, everybody let's get back to work.. no more nonsence during office hour.
Once again, who am i? I'm the great mathematician, Maurinhno... Yeah, it's true. Nothing wrong. It's an equation.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
The BB Idols Week 2
Prologue
Hi... buddies, brothers, sisters. Yeah, it's me again! The editor of NHSS2E4!! Once again, please do not ask who I am and what's my name again. Please don't come and whack me, kick my ass or smash me with wine bottles at different 'places'. Coz i have to point out that everything written here was for pure entertainment only and it's supposed to bring in some life and relaxation thru the form of readin.. We do not mean to offend anybody. Everything's suppose to be read in a fun fun way. u know, in the recent days of hectic and stressful work life, we need to unwind by doing stupid things.. SO.. regardless of how you came here, by chance, by luck, by google, by yahoo or even by pure miracle, this is wat i want to say... "Necks are broken... Careers ended in an instant.. SO... No matter who you are, where you're from, PLEASE.. don't try this at home..."
The Votes
Here's to the main event.. the votes of the BB idols.. AND!! everybody, this is the moment you have been waiting for.. yeesshh!! The line's are open!! So pls pick up your phone and dial in to vote for your fav BB. You can also logged on to our website to download their wallpapers.. yeeeshhh again.. in BIKINI!! Ooooh... i can see u all with glittering eyes now, waterfallin of saliva and some of you had even pull out a few pieces of tissue paper to standby to do something weird to the wallpapers. No.. i will not want to hear wat you are goin to do.. and i won't tell coz the truth is... the truth is.. there's no BIKINI edition wallpapers yet (in fact, wallpaper counts = 0) coz of a coconut tree and monkey. Anyway, fei huo shao shuo.. here's the results for this week... BUT.. BUT.. I have to point out that this is a weekly thing and the performance will only be based on the competition week ONLY. IT IS NOT TO BE USED AS A GUAGE FOR THE OVERALL RANKING OF THE WINES IN OUR HEART.
Jinsheng
First: Merlot
Runner-up: Riesling
Third: Sauvignon Blanc
Consolation: Chardonnay
Henry
First: Riesling
Runner-up: Merlot
Third: Sauvignon Blanc
Consolation: Chardonnay
GN Natipong
First: Riesling
Runner-up: Merlot
Third: Sauvignon Blanc
Consolation: Chardonnay
Shaowei
First: Sauvignon Blanc
Runner-up: Riesling
Third: Merlot
Consolation: Chardonnay
Summary
Hmmm, this week really comes with some surprises.. First up, the exit of the number one hot favourites, Chardonnay, shocked the world. And of coz, we can't forget the surprise package of the dark horse, Riesling... Here's a more in depth summary by the judges of each contestant. Pai min bu fen xian hou.. Name is in alphabetical order.
Chardonnay
This babe was supposed to be the number 1 favourite. With her mesmerising eyes and whistling inviting body, everybody is placin their bets on her before the season and even during week 1. She still look sweet and sexy though. Had a bad match and we really hope she will be able to bounce back next week again. Coz all of us noes she got wat it takes to be exciting. And sometimes, ATTITUDE = WILD = EXCITING (Maurinhno Maths copyrighted). Here's my advice, don't write her out yet.
Merlot
Sweet and gentle as usual. Apeears to be a little nervous in the first week, but this week, she shows a little more confidence in herself and it's a good sign. She's growing and improving. Though sometimes might look a bit lost and sotong, but that's wat makes her attractive. And that little bit of nervousness makes her look cute too. She's gonna be somebody who can be easily mix with. Comfortable feel.
Riesling
This is one dark horse. Who could have thought she would be the big winner this week? Quiet, cool and strong sitting in one corner last week as if she was tryin to study all of us before her chest games... oops i mean chess games, this week she has started to be more expressive. Strong, has her own way of thinkin, nobody's goin to change what she thinks is right. Look out for her, things are startin to get interesting.
Sauvignon Blanc
Definitely grown prettier than last week. Puts in effort in dyeing her hair.. A big round of applause for her effort...!! She's still as sweet and gentle but she's not as soft as last week. A little more expressive and daring this week but she could still be a little more adventurous though. However, we can't deny she's improving and she's interesting. I believe she still got more up her sleeves.
Ok, dudes, next week, same time same place, see u all again!! Remember... your every vote counts!!
Hi... buddies, brothers, sisters. Yeah, it's me again! The editor of NHSS2E4!! Once again, please do not ask who I am and what's my name again. Please don't come and whack me, kick my ass or smash me with wine bottles at different 'places'. Coz i have to point out that everything written here was for pure entertainment only and it's supposed to bring in some life and relaxation thru the form of readin.. We do not mean to offend anybody. Everything's suppose to be read in a fun fun way. u know, in the recent days of hectic and stressful work life, we need to unwind by doing stupid things.. SO.. regardless of how you came here, by chance, by luck, by google, by yahoo or even by pure miracle, this is wat i want to say... "Necks are broken... Careers ended in an instant.. SO... No matter who you are, where you're from, PLEASE.. don't try this at home..."
The Votes
Here's to the main event.. the votes of the BB idols.. AND!! everybody, this is the moment you have been waiting for.. yeesshh!! The line's are open!! So pls pick up your phone and dial in to vote for your fav BB. You can also logged on to our website to download their wallpapers.. yeeeshhh again.. in BIKINI!! Ooooh... i can see u all with glittering eyes now, waterfallin of saliva and some of you had even pull out a few pieces of tissue paper to standby to do something weird to the wallpapers. No.. i will not want to hear wat you are goin to do.. and i won't tell coz the truth is... the truth is.. there's no BIKINI edition wallpapers yet (in fact, wallpaper counts = 0) coz of a coconut tree and monkey. Anyway, fei huo shao shuo.. here's the results for this week... BUT.. BUT.. I have to point out that this is a weekly thing and the performance will only be based on the competition week ONLY. IT IS NOT TO BE USED AS A GUAGE FOR THE OVERALL RANKING OF THE WINES IN OUR HEART.
Jinsheng
First: Merlot
Runner-up: Riesling
Third: Sauvignon Blanc
Consolation: Chardonnay
Henry
First: Riesling
Runner-up: Merlot
Third: Sauvignon Blanc
Consolation: Chardonnay
GN Natipong
First: Riesling
Runner-up: Merlot
Third: Sauvignon Blanc
Consolation: Chardonnay
Shaowei
First: Sauvignon Blanc
Runner-up: Riesling
Third: Merlot
Consolation: Chardonnay
Summary
Hmmm, this week really comes with some surprises.. First up, the exit of the number one hot favourites, Chardonnay, shocked the world. And of coz, we can't forget the surprise package of the dark horse, Riesling... Here's a more in depth summary by the judges of each contestant. Pai min bu fen xian hou.. Name is in alphabetical order.
Chardonnay
This babe was supposed to be the number 1 favourite. With her mesmerising eyes and whistling inviting body, everybody is placin their bets on her before the season and even during week 1. She still look sweet and sexy though. Had a bad match and we really hope she will be able to bounce back next week again. Coz all of us noes she got wat it takes to be exciting. And sometimes, ATTITUDE = WILD = EXCITING (Maurinhno Maths copyrighted). Here's my advice, don't write her out yet.
Merlot
Sweet and gentle as usual. Apeears to be a little nervous in the first week, but this week, she shows a little more confidence in herself and it's a good sign. She's growing and improving. Though sometimes might look a bit lost and sotong, but that's wat makes her attractive. And that little bit of nervousness makes her look cute too. She's gonna be somebody who can be easily mix with. Comfortable feel.
Riesling
This is one dark horse. Who could have thought she would be the big winner this week? Quiet, cool and strong sitting in one corner last week as if she was tryin to study all of us before her chest games... oops i mean chess games, this week she has started to be more expressive. Strong, has her own way of thinkin, nobody's goin to change what she thinks is right. Look out for her, things are startin to get interesting.
Sauvignon Blanc
Definitely grown prettier than last week. Puts in effort in dyeing her hair.. A big round of applause for her effort...!! She's still as sweet and gentle but she's not as soft as last week. A little more expressive and daring this week but she could still be a little more adventurous though. However, we can't deny she's improving and she's interesting. I believe she still got more up her sleeves.
Ok, dudes, next week, same time same place, see u all again!! Remember... your every vote counts!!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice, three blind mice
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice, three blind mice
Thursday, September 21, 2006
unfairness! :D
I'm sad lah.. How can the 2E4 class blog consists of ONLY guys contributors?? unfair! :S
News Update Sentosa Edition
News Updates
Let us take a look at the NHSS2E4 news for now. Here's the update...
Potatoes Transformed Into Wines
First up in the news... I believe some people has already heard it but to those who are scratching their heads and having their appetite diao high high, here's what happened. The great magician, Jinsheng Wenger, has turned 4 little potatoes to 4 bottles of wine. Ya, poor little potatoes, they used to have an irregular shape of round but now, they have got themselves a hole... eh.. with a cork in it too. Oopss... i think it's starting to get a little R(A) here now.. Anyway, here's the menu...
C=Chardonnay
M=Merlot
R=Riesling
S=Sauvignon Blanc
GN and Sauvignon Blanc Out Of Sentosa List
The list of participants for the Sentosa trip is out. As it stands, here's the list but there will be updates to the list. The biggest shock will be GN not be able to turn up for the event. The president of the Thai Farmers FC seems to be tied with something more important this saturday morning. There's rumours of a meetup between her and Seintz F.C for a contract negotiation that day. There are rumours on her having a wine tasting session early in the morning with Sauvignon Blanc.
Participants:
Jinsheng Wenger, Thierry Horny, GWJ, Shaowei
Chardonnay, Merlot, Riesling, Meifang Tiger Beer
Sauvignon Blanc Films Korean New Drama
Actress, Sauvignon, has started filming on the new korean drama "My name is Sauvignon Blanc" which talk about a wine bottle being thrown into the dustbin. The bottle finally gets to return and smashed itself into the head of the culprit to get revenge. Sauvignon Blanc will be holding her signature session at Bugis Junction this Saturday at 5pm.
Thank you for reading the news...
Main Sponsor: NHSS2E4 Editor
Sponsored by: NHSS, 2E4 1995 Association, Jinsheng Wenger, Thierry Horny, Joseph Maurinhno, Alex Ferguson Quek Quek Quek, Arrigo Weiquh, Gu Natipong, Tiger Beer, The Sotong Asscociation Of Singapore, Frankie It's My Life, KC Kah Chen the 2nd.
Let us take a look at the NHSS2E4 news for now. Here's the update...
Potatoes Transformed Into Wines
First up in the news... I believe some people has already heard it but to those who are scratching their heads and having their appetite diao high high, here's what happened. The great magician, Jinsheng Wenger, has turned 4 little potatoes to 4 bottles of wine. Ya, poor little potatoes, they used to have an irregular shape of round but now, they have got themselves a hole... eh.. with a cork in it too. Oopss... i think it's starting to get a little R(A) here now.. Anyway, here's the menu...
C=Chardonnay
M=Merlot
R=Riesling
S=Sauvignon Blanc
GN and Sauvignon Blanc Out Of Sentosa List
The list of participants for the Sentosa trip is out. As it stands, here's the list but there will be updates to the list. The biggest shock will be GN not be able to turn up for the event. The president of the Thai Farmers FC seems to be tied with something more important this saturday morning. There's rumours of a meetup between her and Seintz F.C for a contract negotiation that day. There are rumours on her having a wine tasting session early in the morning with Sauvignon Blanc.
Participants:
Jinsheng Wenger, Thierry Horny, GWJ, Shaowei
Chardonnay, Merlot, Riesling, Meifang Tiger Beer
Sauvignon Blanc Films Korean New Drama
Actress, Sauvignon, has started filming on the new korean drama "My name is Sauvignon Blanc" which talk about a wine bottle being thrown into the dustbin. The bottle finally gets to return and smashed itself into the head of the culprit to get revenge. Sauvignon Blanc will be holding her signature session at Bugis Junction this Saturday at 5pm.
Thank you for reading the news...
Main Sponsor: NHSS2E4 Editor
Sponsored by: NHSS, 2E4 1995 Association, Jinsheng Wenger, Thierry Horny, Joseph Maurinhno, Alex Ferguson Quek Quek Quek, Arrigo Weiquh, Gu Natipong, Tiger Beer, The Sotong Asscociation Of Singapore, Frankie It's My Life, KC Kah Chen the 2nd.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
The Potatoes
Hi all...
I'm here again. My name's NHSS2E4.. Yeah, once again, I'm not Shaowei. Hooooooo....
Ok. Today's article is something special. It's the headlines in the 2E4 Times newspaper now. The streets are talking about it, everybody is talking about it. Forget about Ah Bian, forget about Thaksin, forget about Jose Mourinho, it's the BBs!
Ok, first of all, I must say we mustn't forget about Chor Sheng. He's in the headlines too and he had currently gone to a faraway place to continue training with him shuan jie kun. Till the day he returns, the 2E4 streets will be standing by their door way and looking at the road which he had left hoping for his shadow to return from the same road.. Ok, enuff for feeling emotional now, let's carry on to the BBs.
They are the bloody bitch gang. As they entered into our lifes, an new era and saga has begun for us. Gone were the Dragonball F.C, Jurong Bird Park F.C, Brazilian F.C even the good old 2E3 F.C, our forever rivals. Who could have guessed that 2E3 F.C would be forgotten by us one day? It used to seem impossible but now the BBs has made us do that.
Players Profile
Here's a brief profile of 4 of the BBs player and assessment are ONLY based purely by the great mathematician Maurinhno. Please feel free to leave any comments about the gals or even best, write a new post. Anyway... here goes.
Sylvia
Likely Position: Goalkeeper
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 60%
Nickname: Korean Potato
Maurinhno's assessment:
This gal looks abit like your Korean star, Kim Sam Soon. This gal has a "heck-care" attitude, at least that's what I felt. Though she has got pretty cool and heck-care face, in the mean time, she got a bit the face of a sotong. She could be a very shy person but she hides it well by just keeping quiet and looking "heck-care". But she ends up looking like a sotong. She's tall.
Melinda
Likely Position: Center Back
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 80%
Nickname: -
Maurinhno's assessment:
I do think this gal lacks a bit of self confidence. She appears to be nervous, but that can be because she is shivering from excitement. Haha.. wat a way to describe. But I believe she can be even more beautiful if she filled herself up with more confidence. She got her own kind of character and attractiveness afterall. Uni friend of JS and there's rumours of scandals betweent the 2 signing up a contract for the new season.
Charlotte
Likely Position: Striker
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 85%
Nickname: The Merry Go Round
Maurinhno's assessment:
This is one hot babe. Yuan yuan da da li... eyes.. What were all of you thinking of? She's quite short and that makes her real cute. With a tight short, I mean very short, jean-material shorts she wore that nite, even Nick could have dropped a saliva for her. She's known for her "twisting" and "spinning" in the air and if you don't get the meaning of it, don't ask if you are still under 21. Nope, under 23.
Rolene
Likely Position: Center Back
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 80%
Nickname: Ice Potato
Maurinhno's assessment:
This gal is really ICE. She got a "Who needs man?" message on her face and I believe she will made a successful career woman. At least that's what the great Maurinhno felt. She's got a mysterious feel so far and she could be a great signing. Has been linked with the Thai Farmers F.C lately, hinting she will made a move there by identifying the club with the BEST IMPRESSION award.
There's all folks. More players and characters and bitches could be introduced this Saturday and please stay tune for more of those reports.. Do leave comments about the gals.. Post is good too.. So long.. See ya at the battle field this sat. Let's achieved a Recon 1.
The Editor
NHSS 2E4 Maurinho
I'm here again. My name's NHSS2E4.. Yeah, once again, I'm not Shaowei. Hooooooo....
Ok. Today's article is something special. It's the headlines in the 2E4 Times newspaper now. The streets are talking about it, everybody is talking about it. Forget about Ah Bian, forget about Thaksin, forget about Jose Mourinho, it's the BBs!
Ok, first of all, I must say we mustn't forget about Chor Sheng. He's in the headlines too and he had currently gone to a faraway place to continue training with him shuan jie kun. Till the day he returns, the 2E4 streets will be standing by their door way and looking at the road which he had left hoping for his shadow to return from the same road.. Ok, enuff for feeling emotional now, let's carry on to the BBs.
They are the bloody bitch gang. As they entered into our lifes, an new era and saga has begun for us. Gone were the Dragonball F.C, Jurong Bird Park F.C, Brazilian F.C even the good old 2E3 F.C, our forever rivals. Who could have guessed that 2E3 F.C would be forgotten by us one day? It used to seem impossible but now the BBs has made us do that.
Players Profile
Here's a brief profile of 4 of the BBs player and assessment are ONLY based purely by the great mathematician Maurinhno. Please feel free to leave any comments about the gals or even best, write a new post. Anyway... here goes.
Sylvia
Likely Position: Goalkeeper
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 60%
Nickname: Korean Potato
Maurinhno's assessment:
This gal looks abit like your Korean star, Kim Sam Soon. This gal has a "heck-care" attitude, at least that's what I felt. Though she has got pretty cool and heck-care face, in the mean time, she got a bit the face of a sotong. She could be a very shy person but she hides it well by just keeping quiet and looking "heck-care". But she ends up looking like a sotong. She's tall.
Melinda
Likely Position: Center Back
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 80%
Nickname: -
Maurinhno's assessment:
I do think this gal lacks a bit of self confidence. She appears to be nervous, but that can be because she is shivering from excitement. Haha.. wat a way to describe. But I believe she can be even more beautiful if she filled herself up with more confidence. She got her own kind of character and attractiveness afterall. Uni friend of JS and there's rumours of scandals betweent the 2 signing up a contract for the new season.
Charlotte
Likely Position: Striker
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 85%
Nickname: The Merry Go Round
Maurinhno's assessment:
This is one hot babe. Yuan yuan da da li... eyes.. What were all of you thinking of? She's quite short and that makes her real cute. With a tight short, I mean very short, jean-material shorts she wore that nite, even Nick could have dropped a saliva for her. She's known for her "twisting" and "spinning" in the air and if you don't get the meaning of it, don't ask if you are still under 21. Nope, under 23.
Rolene
Likely Position: Center Back
Likelihood to be signed by Jinsheng F.C: 80%
Nickname: Ice Potato
Maurinhno's assessment:
This gal is really ICE. She got a "Who needs man?" message on her face and I believe she will made a successful career woman. At least that's what the great Maurinhno felt. She's got a mysterious feel so far and she could be a great signing. Has been linked with the Thai Farmers F.C lately, hinting she will made a move there by identifying the club with the BEST IMPRESSION award.
There's all folks. More players and characters and bitches could be introduced this Saturday and please stay tune for more of those reports.. Do leave comments about the gals.. Post is good too.. So long.. See ya at the battle field this sat. Let's achieved a Recon 1.
The Editor
NHSS 2E4 Maurinho
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Adidog
Woooooooooohooooooooooooo......
Guess who? It IS me again, I'm none other than the person who created this book. My name's NHSS2E4. Yeah, everybody's asking and nobody ever knows who I am. It's almost like a thousand year mystery. No, I'm not Shaowei. Nobody really can guess it but my name's just NHSS2E4, nickname... the editor!
Ok. Today, we're goin to put in the T-Shirts slogan that the gang receive from Henry a.k.a Gu Niang The Second (deprived after some tough algebra by 2 of the widest mathematician in the world today).
Wenqi - Adidog
Weijie - Is Your Vagina Happy
Shaowei - Lock On Man Poke Man Pic
Chor Sheng - Fuck Me. I'm Famous
Kian Chew - DOG Bless You
Jinsheng - Rabbit Fucking Duck Pic
Alex - ?????????
Weiquh - My Mom Says I Can Be Anything When I Grow Up, So I Become An Asshole
SOme the old man can't remember ar.. Pls leave your slogan down ba... Then i will go input it in....! Cheers... Rabbits has 2 ears, carrots disappear... Hooooooo
Guess who? It IS me again, I'm none other than the person who created this book. My name's NHSS2E4. Yeah, everybody's asking and nobody ever knows who I am. It's almost like a thousand year mystery. No, I'm not Shaowei. Nobody really can guess it but my name's just NHSS2E4, nickname... the editor!
Ok. Today, we're goin to put in the T-Shirts slogan that the gang receive from Henry a.k.a Gu Niang The Second (deprived after some tough algebra by 2 of the widest mathematician in the world today).
Wenqi - Adidog
Weijie - Is Your Vagina Happy
Shaowei - Lock On Man Poke Man Pic
Chor Sheng - Fuck Me. I'm Famous
Kian Chew - DOG Bless You
Jinsheng - Rabbit Fucking Duck Pic
Alex - ?????????
Weiquh - My Mom Says I Can Be Anything When I Grow Up, So I Become An Asshole
SOme the old man can't remember ar.. Pls leave your slogan down ba... Then i will go input it in....! Cheers... Rabbits has 2 ears, carrots disappear... Hooooooo
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